And the survey says…
We surveyed over 700 mothers and what we learned was humbling. Mommas are going through it!
When we asked the women in our survey to describe the hardest parts of parenting, the most common responses were some variation of:
I don’t have other mothers who I can share what’s really going on with me and my family.
The amount of worry I have for my children can take my breath away.
I never know if God thinks I am too lenient or too strict; working too much or too little, etc.
I can’t balance it all and I feel like I am failing at everything.
I see my own sin in my children and I feel hopeless to change it.
I have so little control over my temper, my children’s decisions and their safety, and I feel vulnerable.
The gospel that is preached is too thin to help me navigate my experience of motherhood.
We asked moms what particular challenges they were facing in the last year, and found a large percent were dealing with:
The larger culture of business: 65%
The larger culture of racism: 56%
Conflicts around technology: 61%
Marital struggles: 43%
Children’s mental health issues: 48%
School pressure: 49%
The larger culture of materialism: 52%
All of this - from loneliness to racism to drowning in diapers - well, it’s taking a toll on women’s faith. Many felt closer to God before having children. They struggle to find time to pray or read the Bible. Forty percent feel hopeless about some aspect of parenting. And six percent of them told us that they found parenting so difficult it caused them to doubt the existence of God. They expressed a longing to experience God’s transformational love in the midst of some really tough stuff.
Geesh. That’s a lot to sit with. But sit with it we must. Because platitudes and “#1 Mom” mugs are not gonna touch our hearts and can’t provide real hope.
All hope is not lost, though. Because, you know, Jesus.
That was what we heard as we conducted in depth interviews with more than a dozen women. We interviewed moms who were single, married, fostering, working, homeschooling, adoptive, Black, White, Asian, and Latina. Each of their stories was unique, shaped by their personalities and histories. And each of them was inspirational. Rough as things were - and for some of the moms we talked to, things were rough - Jesus never left. Jesus was alway there welcoming them, loving on them, and transforming their pain.
But it always started with telling the truth about where things were. To themselves, to Jesus, to their friends and family. What about you? How would you have answered the survey question, “What aspects of motherhood have been most difficult for you?” How has that affected your faith? And, finally, who are you able to tell the truth of it all?
